Friday, July 01, 2005
8:27 PM
1st week of sch gone so fast, yet today is the worst day in the 1st week.Yesterday [30th June]During school saw alot of seniors cause we got a fire-drill and sec 1s and 2s assembled together. Saw Pealynne, Patricia, Liang Zhen, Jasmine, Hui Juan seniors.....saw Hui Juan senior about 5 times in school lor. (got yuan fen.) And Hui Juan senior was like "why i see you so many times today?". And the last time i saw yesterday, she was like " OMIGOD!!! " and she fell to the ground on her knees. Sigh.After school suppose to have band but because i got maths challenge i couldn't go. Supposed to celebrate Mr Lee our band teacher's birthday. U noe. Happy birthday song, eat cake and stuff lyk tt. And we sec 1s were supposed to see the cluster performance in our audithorium by schools lyk AES, and there were Pop bands. Went in to watch last 15 mins only and manage to witness 2 lousy pop bands screaming their heads off. Got an headache after that. Maths challenge not bad lah. Quite fun. We cheated a little. Saw Charis and Sabrina and VERA. <-- EEKSToday [1st July]Went to see Simon Brinch after school. Nice movie, very touching. Missed 1 and a 1/2 hr of band because went to watch movie.Now this is the part that made my day so bad. For FOA, there's going to be 4 double-basses playing-me, Jasmine senior, and two other seniors from string enzemble.I went into band room and played Movement for ROSA. Then ms chong said go for sectionals. Then the two seniors came in to play with us. This is my first time playing with them so very nervous. Ms chong came back in and then asked us to play 7th night. Now one thing you must know is that i cannot play 7th night properly, cos it's like for advanced bassists and im not even beginner lor. Jasmine senior is beginner but she can play quite well cos she's going for bass lessons outside school and i'm not so im worse than her. And ms chong wants her to teach mie.I ask u. How do expect a beginner to teach a beginner properly? Obviously cannot right? So i definitely cannot play well lah. Then it's like because Jasmine never teach me properly and then the two string enzem. seniors see me play already say my position wrong, fingering wrong, bowing wrong, everything wrong, say Jasmine why never teach me, say how i go for FOA like that. I was thinking " To you guys of course easy lah, i just started klearning bass in MAY, i was taught by a beginner and i dont know half the fingerings. How to play? Movement for ROSA is considered easier than 7th night in some parts but half the time while i was playing it i was trying to figure out the fingerings. I didn't even chose to be in double bass, i dun even want to be in it. Now i'm already trying my best and there u r, criticising me, saying im too stupid to play such a "simple" piece. " I was so damn angry and pissed off with myself lor. When i tried playing, i kept getting the wrong notes lah. Then i shook my head so as to indicate i play wrong notes. Then u noe what the senior told me?" Can u please stop shaking ur head. It is no use saying that u dunno how to play when u never even try. If u want to learn how to play, can you please learn properly with the right attitude?" I was like what the hack and then she ask me to help her hold her bass and she went out to the band room. Next moment she came back with Yen Zhen lor. (Yen Zhen is the band major.) I was like what the hell???? It's not that i dun like her or i scared of her or what, infact she's real nice, but playing in front of her was another thing. Then the string enzem senior ask me to play for Yen Zhen to hear, then i got nervous, kept playing wrong notes, then the string enzem senior got fed up and said, " Yen Zhen, i dun think she can play 7th night, she never go for bass lessons, den cannot learn from jasmine, she need to go for bass lessons lah." Then Yen Zhen was like " nevermind, try harder, try harder...." And that was when i started to cry. I just couldn't help it lor. The tears just came like that, and i dun even noe why i cried, maybe because i was too angry with myself for going into double bass, going for FOA, and all the other possible things that made this happened. Then Yen Zhen and the string enzem senior saw that i was crying and tried to calm me down, say dun stress myself blah blah blah...... Then the string enzem senior asked Jasmine how long i've been learning this piece, then she said scince 3rd or 4th week of June. Then the string enzem senior ask if Jasmine got ask ms chong whether i can go for bass lessons. Actually jasmine ask ms chong some weeks ago, then ms chong ask her to ask mr lim, then mr lim say he dunno and will ask ms wong.....but nvr get back to her...... i felt very bad lor......like i was adding burden to jasmine when she already has her own problems to cope with......sigh..........so the string enzem senior and Yen Zhen told me not to play 7th night and play When you believe only, and on stage i will only come in together with the choir to join the band. Actually i felt very bad cos i want ed very badly to play 7th night and i love it alot, but then being able to play in FOA was already very fortunate so i let it go......afterwards the string enzem senior arranged practise times with me to practise and we when home.I still dunno why i just cried like that lor.....i'm not the type of person who cries every day just for a little thing....i may feel sad but i will never cry....unless i'm very sad....The above was supposed to be posted yesterday. [1st July] Sorry for the late post.Tmw mom's taking me out from just chinese so that i can go to botanical garderns to have picnic and watch dunno wat concert that taufik will be there.... cant believe my mum also "zhui" such "ming xing".... i dont lor.....That's all for now.....to be continued ......Till then.....tata for now..... =)~lurve mie seniors~especially Hui Juan senior~